really in love

Day 31

photo by Michelle J.

photo by Michelle J.

I just wrote a big, fancy, rah-rah, cheerleader post about reaching the 1 month mark with this project. What I learned, what we’ve accomplished blah, blah, blah.

But then I erased it.

Because that’s not real. It’s just nonsense, stuff we’re supposed to say when we’re working on a project. “This is so great!” and “I’ve learned so much.”

When what’s real is, I’m typing this with tears in my eyes for no real reason.

Because I love my son so much it makes my head swim. Because the way my husband’s chest rises and falls in his sleep clenches my fists with the need to protect him. Because my nephew hugs me so tight, I can barely breath.

I took a walk with Revel this afternoon in the sunshine. The wind was blowing, and the leaves were turning colors, and we played on the playground, and stomped around, and kept grinning at each other, and laughing.

I don’t want the air to be poisoned. I don’t want the water to be poisoned. I don’t want the soil to be poisoned. I don’t want the Pacific tuna to be radioactive. I don’t want there to be islands of plastic trash in the sea.

I feel sadness, but I am not sad.

I’m just really fucking in love with this incredible planet we live on,

And I’m just really fucking mad that people are ruining it.

And I really love connecting with others who feel the same way, so thank you for that, for all this.

Thank you for listening,

I love you,


photo by Michelle J.

photo by Michelle J.

Our guest post tonight is from my friend Jon. Farmer, musician,and  lover of the land, he is a true kindred spirit and he has my utmost respect. Thank you for your song Jon, it’s incredibly beautiful and rings so true.

Jon sent me the following message about the inspiration for his song “NOW”. I’m sharing it with you because it is true and beautiful in its’ own right. When you’re ready to listen, click on the link below.

“It references something I first learned about through the writings of Derrick Jensen – the practice of the picket pin and stake. When the Cheyenne Dog Soldiers would go into battle, they would carry with them a pickit pin and stake that was attached to a rope that was attached to themselves. They would drive this stake into the ground as a way of saying I am here until this is finished, I will remain until dead or victorious. I think of this constantly – what are our own thresholds? At what point will we drive our own stakes in the ground and say enough? The song I’m sharing with you is about resolve, about listening and learning, about limits. It’s also a declaration that we will win. And if I’m being honest with myself, I didn’t write this because I fully believe we will win, but because I really needed to hear it. “

morning stillness


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