Peel away the layers

Day 95

photo by Wilson Alvarez

photo by Wilson Alvarez


My thoughts are with you tonight, on this, the eve of the anniversary of your violent death.

In a world full of  so much loss, I’m not sure why your murder strikes me so.

A squeeze in my heart, a dull ache in my bones.

Why its’ with me as I go through my day, cook, take walks, hug my baby, sleep, dream.

Maybe because your death represents all the deaths,

the destruction this civilization leaves in its’ wake,

the ruining of villages, cultures, lives, ecosystems,

the great destroyer.


Or maybe its’ because I see myself in your story.

Mother, wife,

lover of this land,

daughter of the earth.

My children walk the lands yours once did.

Play in the sunshine,

laugh in the shade of the big trees,

Sycamore, Tulip Poplar, Beech, and Oak.


Civilization steals

whatever it wants.

Takes whatever it desires,

uses people as pawns to

do its’ bidding.

Turns the world inside out.

Creation into destruction,

beauty into ugliness,

life into death.

We must separate ourselves from this civilization. Figure out where we stop and it begins.

Peel away the layers,

the contamination,

the broken parts of our brains.

Work to mend, to heal,

to be become whole again, balanced.



You are not forgotten.

The land is calling out your name.


Tomorrow night we will hold a vigil at the place of your death,

to remember that horrible night,

to remember your life,

to remember your people,

to remember there is another way to live on this planet.

So that this may never happen again.

There is no excuse.

Tonight I hold my family close,

as I know you would yours, if you could.

How frightening,

how fleeting,

how quickly it all can be taken away.

My apologies are to the whole world, from each tiny bird, to each creature of the sea,

and everything in between.

I love you.

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.

I’m sorry,

please forgive me

thank you.

I love you,

I’m sorry,

please forgive me,

thank you.

I love you.

It should not have to be this hard.

We must work to make the wrong things right.

It is ok to feel sad,

to feel angry,

to feel hurt.

There is nothing wrong with you,

it doesn’t make you weak.

Let it wash through you.

Feel the pain and let it wake you,

make you,

fresh and new,


Know you are alive.

You are strong.

Do not be afraid.

Thank you for listening,



photo by Michelle Johnsen

photo by Michelle Johnsen


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s