We stood a the edge of the storm today
dark and ominous clouds rolling in from the west
low and heavy, charged so that my head buzzed with energy and my teeth felt on edge.
We watched carefully for signs of lightning, looked for a flash of bright color in the sky
but instead we saw the rain
falling down in sheets before it reached us
gallons of water tumbling down in lines.
Wil gathered up Revie and ran, fast
Revie’s curls whipping in the wind
to make it back to the car just as the first
closed the gap between
heaven and earth,
sweet fresh water
pouring from the sky.
There are many reasons I started this project. To give myself an outlet for emotions, to explore my feelings about living in a damaged and violent culture, to hopefully find clarity as an activist and human being living on planet earth during this frightening and tumultuous time.
But one of the main reasons I created this project was to explore my own feelings about motherhood. To express the fears, and joy, and intense love I feel for my small son, and how mothering him has made me an entirely different person than I ever was before.
Each day with Revel is a gift, and I am thankful each minute he is healthy, well, and happy.
When he was born, a number of couples we know were also busy having children of their own. So now there is a small clan of mostly wild, muddy-toed, tangle haired, beautiful little children running around together making friendships and exploring the world.
Wherever babies come from, they must come in little clusters, with the other souls they are meant to run around with in this life. And that makes Revel’s friends special to me, and makes me love them all as though they were my own. Because in a way, they are.
All the children belong to all of us, and it is our responsibility to see they’re cared for, and loved, and provided with all the tools and requirements they need to thrive in this already difficult world.
Laszlo and his brother Townes are two of the little souls Revie is friends with. They are amazing, fearless, bright-eyed little creatures with two interesting, creative, and intelligent parents who love them very much.
Heartbreakingly, Laszlo can’t physically do many of the things his brother and Revel can do. He was recently diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) a degenerative genetic disorder which affects the motor neurons of the spinal chord and brain stem, areas of the body that control muscle movement of the respiratory, digestive system, and limbs.
Val, Laszlo’s mom has been keeping a blog since his diagnosis a few months ago, and her writing is raw, beautiful and touching. I cry very hard, for a very long time when I read her words, because of the truth and wisdom I recognize there.
Being a mother, or a parent, or a caregiver of a child is he best thing. It opens he world in ways you never could imagine, fills the heart with so much love it takes your breath away. But its terrifying too. Because the flip side of love IS loss. The constant terror of the possibility of loss, makes the love all the more intense, all the more consuming. All the more precious.
Val and her partner Steve have looked into the face of a true nightmare. A child with a serious, and possibly life threatening illness. Something that is terrifying, and overwhelming, and frightening to even think about. And yet they are thriving, loving their children with a fierce protectiveness that puts chills on my arms and takes my breath. Enjoying adventures in the woods, celebrating birthdays, and living with joy, courage and determination
Please read Val’s blog. It is beautiful. She writes about the things that are at the very heart of this project. Mothering. The wild. Fear, loss, and love. And somehow, reading her writing makes me feel better. There is still so much good in the world.
Please check out the link to Laszlo’s fundraiser. As the days and weeks and months and years go by he will need wheelchairs, and carseats, and chairs, and beds, and all sorts of things that will allow him to live a full, and happy, and incredible life.
Please donate. Help him play with his friends. Help give Laszlo the life he deserves. That we all deserve.
Happy, wild and free.
Love to you Val, Steve, Townes, and Laszlo. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
From Val’s blog Woods&Wilder
My wish is not that you grow up to be a doctor, or a caring father, or a musician or that you travel the Earth. Today, my wish for you is that one day, when you are older, you will still be able to hold your own cup.
Simple, unassuming, unequivocal. A wish no mother should ever have to wish.
Thank you for listening,